"...so you see, Puffy, I just get SO shy and tongue-tied when I try to write to the List that I REALLY need your help on this one. You're so good with words...surely you'll be able to come up with a way to help me express my true feelings about the importance of reconstructive surgery in women between 40 and 49."

Sue's Puff-etic First Meeting With The Fish.

Your mission, should you choose to undertake it is......

Must you keep carping on bad manners?

I have bigger people to fry than you, Miss Sue.

And if you're going to keep using me as your mouthpiece, I want a bigger tank, premium fish food, real plants, not plastic

"I'll never understand humans...especially the under the table thing....all I ask is before you go there....feed me!"

"Puffie, have you seen my Tamoxifen anywhere? Puffie? Now tell the truth, you didn't go and swallow the whole bottle, did you?"

"OK Sue, I'm bigger than you are, so write what I tell you or you'll get it with a fin."

Carpe diem!

Puffie, did you take my paper vest? I can't find it anywhere and I MUST have it for my oncology appointment. Don't try to fool me. My logical analysis led me straight to you. What do you mean, you don't care who sees your gills, anyway?

"Puffie, I really enjoy these long chats and receiving your wisdom, but I really can't hold my breath long enough for you to tell me everything you want to say about JCS"

No, Ms Sue, I will not wear a leash so you can save face.

Forget it, Sue. I can't be your alter-ego. You ARE an Aquarius. I'm IN an Aquarium.

Sue, I have to stop hanging with you. You're an Aquarius. I'm a Pisces. Period.

No, Sue. I don't want to be called Puff the Magic Goldfish.

Sue:   I don't understand it, you charged everyone else $19.95 for Bye-Bye Rag but you want me to pay           twice that?!
Puffie: Sign over some residuals to me, and perhaps that could change....

Puffie: remember who the *alter* ego is in this relationship, my friend!

Sue:   I love you!
Puffie: I love you *more*!
Sue:   But, I love you *best*!
Puffie: *I* love *you* best! I'd give up meal worms for *you*!
Sue:   Meal worms?
Puffie: Yes, you know, the meal worms I use in Bye-Bye Rag.

Sue: They love me! They *really* love me!!!!

Yes, Sue, we do. Happy Birthday!

Don't you be getting sarcastic with me, Miss Pfish.

I know, I know. But try not to be so judgmental, Puffie. The poor lady. Maybe she really has had twenty-three surgeries this month.

Oh, stop carping, Puffie. I think that man's poetry is extremely moving.

Okay, okay. You can do the Portland M.C. gig yourself this year. But we better start working on travel arrangements now. Have you contacted Sea World yet?

Thanks for all the laughs and good friendship.

Now look Puffie, it's OK for us to have a healthy debate. That means you can tell me to shut up or to go to hell. It's better than having you keep your mouth shut in an attempt to be nice to me. You know, some of us are more outspoken than others, but we are all really equal. And, I also think it's not a crime to not like everybody all the time. What's that? You don't like me ANY of the time? Well, that's OK, but just remember: roses are red, violets are blue, if Puffie gets rude, then Puffie gets stewed.

I wonder what the fish would look like on a bed of ice with a cherry tomato in its mouth?

Sue, do you REALLY think the fish answers you?

OK, Puff, let me make sure I got this straight, I'm supposed to say 'no' to tamoxifen, 'no' to regrets, 'yes' to paper gowns,  what's that?   OK, ok, 'no' to paper gowns.   Now where was I?   OK, it's 'no' to lymph node removal, 'no' to tram flaps, ... .  Come on Puff, I gotta tell 'em 'yes' to something!, what's that you say?,  tell 'em 'yes' to Manapol?,,,, tell, them, how, Manapol, has, given, me, a, new, lease, on, life, by, pulverizing, my, warts, adding, RAM, to, my, Mac, and, by, letting, me, wolf, down, beans, without, getting, gas?, OK, I'll give it a try - you always know the right thing to say.

~~~   And last but definitely not the least:   (drum roll please)

Sue's version:

      SUE: Come on, Puffie. It's time for another coffee enema.

Puffie's version:

      PUFFIE: Come on, Sue. It's time to play Jonah and the Whale again!